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Finding Yourself And Celebrating Individuality With Sandy Martin

1st October 2021

1st October 2021

By Allison Strang

Fitness instructor and wellness enthusiast, Sandy Martin, radiates confidence when it comes to knowing who she is. In a world where it's easy to lose yourself to whatever is going on in the chaos, she finds a way to stay grounded, to be true to herself and to enjoy the experience. We sat down with her to discuss the significance of individuality, the challenges she's faced and her advice for those who are struggling to find their identity.

Tell us about yourself! Where are you from and what do you do?

Hey, I’m Sandra but everyone calls me Sandy. Born and raised in North west London and I’m a rigorous multitasker. I love keeping busy - fitness instructor by day and superhero at night (joke). Seriously I’m a spin instructor, model, creative and wellness enthusiast.

How did you get into fitness originally?

I always loved being active. I got invited to try out classes through my agency and started training. Because I was at the studio so often, I got offered an opportunity to train and audition to become an instructor. It all kicked off from there really.

There’s a ton of fitness instructors out there - how do you stand out as an individual in your field?

I’ve been called the queen of smooth and complimented on my playlists. To be honest, I think it’s easy to stand out when you’re being yourself. No one can be you, and we all have our own superpowers. There’s so much room for what everyone has to offer. For me, I know I have a purpose and reason to move and be active. I am grateful that I can move because I had days where I couldn’t. For me, that makes me stand out.

How would you describe your identity?

I actually wouldn’t be able to describe it, you know. My purpose is to keep growing towards a better me, so my identity is always changing. I don’t ever want to stay stagnant or to be defined by words. I don’t think I was made to be described but made to be experienced.

What does individuality mean to you?

Freedom in just being and living authentically - feeling as free as water, having the ability to flow and grow and expand where needed. Being myself and growing in myself and choosing myself every day. Individuality should make you happy.

How does your identity define who you are?

I think we define who we are to be honest. We don’t have to fit in a box or have to be labelled. I just enjoying being with no expectations. Just being and growing in the directions that make me happy.

What challenges have you faced, if any, in discovering what makes you, you?

I think the biggest challenge for me was when I got diagnosed with an autoimmune disease. It changed my life. It’s difficult accepting a part of yourself, especially a weakness that is unexplainable. It's been difficult, mentally and physically, but I had to learn to accept this part of me. My physical weakness became my greatest mental and emotional strength. I feel grateful for the things I used to take for granted about myself - a weak part of me is just as important as the strong parts. My challenging moments make me, me. My ability to overcome and persevere.

What advice would you give to anyone who’s struggling with finding their identity?

Stop looking for what you think you want to find. Explore, be open to learning and growing and, most importantly, make mistakes because those are the biggest lessons and biggest life growth spurts. Lastly, stop overthinking. We are tuned to be who we are, take the focus off the external and switch it internally. We have all of the answers we need within us.

To keep up with Sandy, follow her on Instagram

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Finding Balance and Inner Peace with Brin McKinnon
This month, we sat down with Innermost Insider Brin McKinnon to discuss inner peace, managing conflict and maintaining balance. Representing us in Australia, Brin is a true Innermost Insider, having loved our products since she was a London native. Funny, thoughtful and eloquent, even with the 11 hour time difference making the interview 1am for her; this one's definitely worth the read. Hey Brin! Tell us about yourself! Hi, my name is Brin, and I am currently studying a Bachelor of International Relations at the Australian National University, whilst also working as a management consultant and freelancing. I've been using Innermost products since 2018 when I used to live in London, and since then they’ve been my favourite products, specifically in terms of vegan products. I then became an ambassador this year, because I wanted to share my love of Innermost products with other people. My favourite platform at the moment is my YouTube channel where I actually recently spoke about Innermost and the products I’ve been loving. View this post on Instagram A post shared by B r i n 🌱 (@brindarcey) Our theme this month is peace. So, the first question I want to ask is, what does peace mean for you, in your own life? A lot of the time in the health and wellness industry, the focus is on the physical and specifically on aesthetics, but I think that it’s really important to understand our health as something that's part of a bigger whole. It’s not just physical - it’s mental too, and that’s why, personally, peace is such a big thing for me, mental-health wise. Mental health is such an important part of our overall wellbeing and I think finding peace is really central to looking after your mental health. I wouldn't say I'm naturally a peaceful person but it’s a process to find that sense of inner-peace and maintain it. What process do you undertake to cultivate your inner peace? What steps have you taken? Over the last few years, I've definitely been taking steps to improve my relationship with myself and I suppose, in a way, to relax a little. As I mentioned, I think that it's definitely a process, and how you cultivate inner peace depends a lot on the individual. For me, a lot of that is spending time in nature, taking walks and exercising outside. I also think that meditating can also be useful, but I think that something that can dissuade people from meditation a bit and definitely dissuaded me was the idea that there’s only one way to meditate. But I think that just finding something that's meditative to you can be really useful in cultivating inner peace and it doesn’t have to be sitting down with your eyes closed. It can be spending time outside with your family or your friends, or even just watching a television show that makes your mind switch off for a bit. The first step to cultivating inner peace is finding what brings you peace. How do you make peace with your mistakes or regrets? I think that I'm quite lucky because I'm naturally quite good at letting things go and I don't necessarily regret things. So unfortunately, that's not going to be helpful for everyone. But I think that, for anyone, letting yourself come to terms with your emotions and letting yourself feel those emotions, is the most important step in making peace with them. However, I also think it’s then important to not hold on to those negative thoughts and feelings for too long. Once you’ve let yourself feel those emotions, you then need to accept them. A lot of the time your ego can get in the way of this step, but you need to be humble and say “okay, I've made a mistake”, perhaps get advice from friends or family and then just take time to reflect on yourself. In the end, the most important step is letting go; it's so important to accept and then move forward, otherwise we let things that we've done in the past continue to hold us back in the future. Is there anything that disrupts your peace and how do you manage it? I’m a person who doesn't necessarily enjoy change. So any small thing that happens in my day could completely derail how I'm feeling and that's something I'm definitely working on. But as I mentioned, it's a process. It's not going to happen overnight. The way I deal with this is not over-committing, organising, scheduling and planning things, but also respecting that things change and that's okay. In addition to this, I've also been going to therapy for a few years and I think that's been really important for me as well. Therapy is typically seen as something just for people who are deeply suffering with their mental health but, I think that therapy can be for everyone. It's just a really useful tool to break down the way that you think and the way that you approach situations that can derail your inner peace. And its been really important for me in my journey to protecting my peace from those day-to-day disruptions. How do you manage conflict with other people? I think that these last few years have been particularly emotionally challenging for everyone. So I think that an increase in interpersonal conflict is something that's inevitable. I'm definitely naturally quite a combative person and I'm anxious-avoidant in my relationships, so I have felt this in my life too. Whilst I do think that it's important to stand up for yourself and for what you believe in, I also think that approaching people with respect, openness and honesty is the best way forward when you're having a conflict with someone. Of course, not all interpersonal conflict is going to be fixable but that's okay. Sometimes we need to let relationships go as well. Beautiful you’ve been open and honest with people then you can move forward knowing you don’t regret how you’ve handled the situation. View this post on Instagram A post shared by B r i n 🌱 (@brindarcey) Do you feel like your nutrition is important in being in that good headspace? Absolutely. I think that nutrition is incredibly important. There’s a massive connection between your physical and mental health so eating a balanced diet is really important. I don't believe in restricting certain food groups, because I think this can actually disrupt your peace. However, I think by listening to your body and viewing nutrition as fuel rather than something to be labelled good or bad, you can make nutrition benefit your peace. For example, for me eating protein is really important because I'm vegetarian. I find it easiest to do this by using a vegan protein, so it’s about finding ways to make nutrition work for you. I actually think that finding balance in our lives is probably the best way to cultivate inner peace, across the board. We can't always strive for perfectionism but I don't think we should be happy with mediocrity either. We need to be somewhere in the middle; striving to do the best for ourselves in the moment that we're in. That’s where you find peace. To keep up with Brin, check out her Instagram! Read more
How to Beat Imposter Syndrome, According to Experts
Do you ever feel like a fraud at work? Or worry that people won’t love the ‘real’ you? Even when you have evidence that suggests none of the above is true? Then, you could be experiencing imposter syndrome - and, you’re not the only one.  Research shows imposter syndrome is a universal struggle with one review finding that up to 82% of people could be experiencing imposter syndrome and suffer from anxiety, burnout and exhaustion because of it. While imposter syndrome can feel deflating and challenging, the good news is that there are steps you can take to overcome self-doubt and boost self-confidence, so you stop holding yourself back from reaching your full potential To help you leave imposter syndrome behind for good, we spoke to two experts to bring you everything you need to know including how to spot it and how to beat it.  What Is Imposter Syndrome? “Imposter syndrome is the overwhelming feeling of self-doubt or fear of being exposed as a ‘fraud’,” explains Holistic Health & Wellness Coach Christina Calderwood. When we experience imposter syndrome it’s because we believe on some level that our achievements are down to luck or other factors and not our own ability, and we feel unworthy of our success. “Those with imposter syndrome worry that others will eventually uncover the ‘truth’ and see their perceived lack of skill and capability, despite evidence of their success and achievements,” Christina adds.  Signs of Imposter Syndrome Imposter syndrome can show up in different ways and may show up differently depending on the scenario you are in.  For example, imposter syndrome at work can look like questioning if your contributions are valuable and choosing to stay silent out of fear. In friendships it can look like worrying what others think of you and in romantic relationships you might feel you're undeserving of your partner's love and affection. Imposter syndrome often shows up in self-limiting thoughts and beliefs, and the stories we tell ourselves. According to Christina, some of the most common thoughts people with imposter syndrome may have include:  I don't deserve this success, I just got lucky. I'm not as smart or talented as they think I am. I'm afraid they will find out I don't know what I'm doing. I’m afraid they will see the ‘real’ me and not like me for who I really am.  I have to work harder than others to prove myself and achieve my goals. I can't make any mistakes or ask for help, or they will think I'm incompetent.  Why do we experience Imposter Syndrome “Imposter syndrome is more common than we might think and something we may experience at different stages of life,” mindset and confidence coach Francesca Nervegna tells us. With research suggesting that up to 70% of us may experience imposter syndrome in our lifetime, this fear-driven mindset can affect anyone at any time, regardless of their age, gender or profession.  There are many reasons why we may experience imposter syndrome, some of these include striving for perfectionism, our upbringing, facing a new challenge and social comparison.  “Perfectionism is another way that self-sabotage and imposter syndrome can disguise themselves,” explains Christina. “Holding ourselves to unrealistic standards and expectations stops us from going after our dreams, let alone even trying. This happens when we are afraid of failing, of being seen, feeling vulnerable or not feeling as good as others.”  The environment in which we grew up in can also lead us to strive for perfectionism and experience imposter syndrome. “People who grew up in environments with high expectations or where success was often compared to others' achievements may have internalised the belief that they need to constantly prove their worth,'' Christina adds.  Similarly, a big life change that involves taking the leap before we feel ‘ready’, such as a new job or promotion, can trigger self-doubt and feelings of imposter syndrome.  We may experience imposter syndrome when we compare ourselves to others, either those around us or on social media. “The grass may seem greener on the other side, we might think that others are better than us and start to compare ourselves to them and compete with them in our minds,” Francesca adds.  Christina echoes this: “We're constantly bombarded with messages that our worth is tied to our achievements and external validation. The pressure to meet these unrealistic standards can be overwhelming.” Christina believes that social media makes this worse by only showing us the highlights, making it seem like everyone else has got everything together while we are struggling.  Stereotypes can also lead to feelings of imposter syndrome. “Individuals from underrepresented groups may feel added pressure to succeed and represent their group positively, which can contribute to imposter syndrome,” Christina explains. “They might also face implicit or explicit biases that undermine their confidence.” How to beat Imposter Syndrome The first step to beating imposter syndrome is becoming aware of it and identifying that we have self-limiting beliefs. “Once we identify it, we are already one step ahead and we can start working on it,” Francesca explains.  Acknowledge your feelings To start identifying your limiting beliefs and find clarity around why these thoughts or feelings are coming up, Francesca suggests journaling. Once you identify your negative thoughts and the beliefs that fuel them, you can start to work on overcoming them.  Christina suggests using a technique called cognitive reframing, which involves replacing your negative thoughts with more positive and realistic ones.  This could include something like:  I deserve this success because I worked hard for it and I have the right skills and qualifications.  I don't have to know everything, no one does. I can learn from my mistakes and ask for help when I need it. I deserve love and a fulfilling relationship because I offer kindness, respect, and genuine care. I don’t need to be perfect in a relationship; no one is. Celebrate your achievements No matter how big or small, taking time to reflect on your accomplishments and celebrating your achievements will help to shift your mindset and reduce feelings of imposter syndrome. “Create a folder where you list down any positive feedback, milestones and accomplishments, or keep a journal with your successes, big & small. Come back to them whenever self-doubt creeps in,” Christina advises.  Share your experiences Opening up to trusted friends about your experiences may help you to feel less alone, and connect with others around you who are also experiencing imposter syndrome. “Sometimes, just hearing others say they’ve felt the same way can be incredibly validating.” Christina says.  Challenge negative thoughts Whenever you catch yourself thinking a negative thought, such as ‘I’m not good enough’, counter it with evidence that shows you it’s untrue. “Often, you’ll find that the negative thoughts are baseless and you have far more examples of why you are good enough, exactly as you are. “ Christina says.  Francesca often uses positive affirmations with her clients, to help them require their brain and replace old patterns and limiting beliefs with new ones.  “You can also use positive affirmations to rewire your brain and replace old patterns and limiting beliefs with new ones,” Francesca adds. “Your brain will believe anything that you tell it, if you are constantly affirming that you are an imposter and you are not good enough, you will keep believing it. On the other hand, thanks to neuroplasticity, you can reprogram your brain to embrace more positive thoughts and, in turn, boost your confidence.” Shift to a growth mindset Beating imposter syndrome is all about shifting your mindset from striving for perfectionism to embracing growth. “If you are ready to stop self-sabotaging and stop letting your internal dialogue make you feel like an imposter you are going to have to let yourself be imperfect,” says Chrsitna. She adds: “Understand that mistakes and failures are part of life and a fundamental part of the learning process. Remember, courage comes first, confidence follows.” Read more